• About
  • Fatales
  • Blog
Menu

Alyssa Lee Clear

  • About
  • Fatales
  • Blog
EB6AE8DF-C64F-4E1D-9530-9B46512F725E.jpeg

Dorothea Puente, Part II

July 30, 2018
EBC86C82-D49C-4900-BAB5-A51185E4A61D.jpeg

 It’s difficult to imagine keeping up an elaborate lie your entire life, but that’s exactly what Dorothea Puente did. She maintained both her innocence and her fantasy life until she took her last breath at The Central California Women’s Facility in March of 2011. This is a woman that cannot seem to admit to anything that might put a blemish on her character. She‘s concocted an unnecessarily implausible excuse for even one of her pettiest crimes — propositioning fellatio to an undercover police officer, a crime that only warranted 90 days in jail and would hardly be considered violent or malicious. Dorothea insists she was simply visiting a friend at what she wholeheartedly believed was a bookkeeping office, when the place was raided by police. She was charged only because she was there. A classic wrong place, wrong time sort of thing, if you will. 

Then there’s her childhood, and the increasingly elaborate tales she wove about her past. Sure, she’d admit to illegally operating a boarding house, but even that served to  make her look more altruistic: this poor elderly woman, who was wrongfully sent to prison, is on probation, but just can’t resist helping those in need. Sure, she cashed their checks, but she had to operate the boarding house somehow. The crime that resulted in her probation? Drugging and stealing from patients she was caring for while she worked as an in-home aide. According to Dorothea, the charge was impossible —  she could never drug anyone, because she just “wasn’t that type of person.” 

It’s as if she had this pathological need to be seen as a good person. The psychiatrist who evaluated her after the arrest had this to say:

“I think she truly wanted to rehabilitate [her tenants] as she could not the people in her own family. On the other hand, when these people, as could be expected, would act up—at that point, she snapped and decided to kill them.”

He spent a total of twelve hours speaking with her, and eventually diagnosed her with antisocial personality disorder. I haven’t met Dorothea, and I’m certainly no psychiatrist, so I don’t want to dispute his claims, but I do wonder how altruistic those original desires actually were. She undoubtedly had a rough upbringing, and it would be understandable that she would suffer throughout her adult life as a result of that. But Dorothea never did a good deed without making sure people knew about it. With her first boarding house, she donated to charities and political organizations, allowing her to attend events where she could be photographed with local celebrities and politicians. It wasn’t as if she did all these good deeds to no fanfare. 

33BA55BB-D6CB-4CFE-88FC-2C6D3DB83C7D.jpeg

Then there’s all of the “low-cost medical care” she provided to her tenants and the Mexican community in San Francisco. With medical qualifications that were completely fabricated, there’s no telling what harm she may have been putting them under. 

Clearly, the appearance of being a good person was very important to her, but I’m not wholly convinced that she actually wanted to be a good person out of the kindness of her heart.

Still, we are left with the mystery of Dorothea, and why she fought so hard to maintain her delusions. I use the term “delusions” here, but I don’t mean to imply she was mentally ill and believed them in the purest sense. But I do think that her lies became such a large part of who she was, that she began to almost see them as true. I’m sure many of us have met people like this — people who seem to lie almost pathologically, even about the most arbitrary things, and although their tales are so outlandish, and dismissed by most people, they’ll always find someone to listen.

Sometimes you’ll catch a glimpse of desperation there, no matter how callous and cold hearted this person may be, that they just need this to be true. Of course they aren’t actually delusional, and undoubtedly know that they are lying, but it almost seems that the constant repetition and desire to manipulate the truth has a profound effect on a person, one that allows them to just nearly believe themselves. I think Dorothea wanted to convince herself that her lies were true.

I don’t believe her “kind old lady” facade was specifically created for the purpose of murder, but more as a ruse to maintain her appearance of altruism and respectability. I wholeheartedly believe she would have done anything to keep this ruse going, and if murder was necessary, or at least an easy solution, she had no qualms about taking a life. She was so focused on herself and her public image that the lives of others were simply insignificant to her. 

I’ve referred to her as a female Ted Bundy, but that’s only in the sense that, like Bundy, she was able to use her appearance and personality to convince potential victims that she wasn’t a threat, to lull them into a false sense of security. But as far as the crimes themselves go, I don’t believe she necessarily enjoyed the act of killing. That being said, it certainly didn’t seem to upset her any either.

99F252A0-04F5-4855-9A7B-55FAF399D661.jpeg

Where the psychiatrist’s claims fall apart for me is when you consider the deaths of Ruth Monroe and Everson Gillmouth, two murders she has not been convicted of but is widely believed to have committed. These don’t seem to be crimes where she “snapped.” These weren’t her boarders. In the case of Ruth in particular, we know that Ruth’s health began quickly deteriorating as soon as she moved in with Dorothea, and that the process leading up to her death must have lasted at least a few days. In light of the boarding house murders, it seems likely that she poisoned Ruth as well, and if you believe she did, there’s really no way to deny the premeditation there. With both of these crimes, money seemed to be the motivation once again. 

And yet, Dorothea has always glossed over these instances, claiming Ruth’s death was suicide and never speaking of Gillmouth. Even in prison, with no chance of parole and her appeals long exhausted, Dorothea refuses to show remorse. She can’t, not without admitting she isn’t the saint she’s claimed to be. It’s a strange thing, because Dorothea’s delusions may make her the most frightening sort of serial killer. She’s not out for a thrill, she doesn’t need to enjoy the crime, there’s not much of a “type” to her victims except that she’s able to serve them food or drink.

When Martin Kutz conducted a series of interviews with Dorothea for Sactown Magazine, he admits that she appears and behaves like an ordinary old lady. He’s smart enough to know better, but the idea still presents itself: she’s utterly ordinary. She’s not out hunting for victims or saving “tokens,” she doesn’t brag about her crimes or seem to care for notoriety. No, Dorothea is wrapped up in her fantasy world and her insistence that she’s a good person. And that’s what makes her so terrifying. She’s an otherwise unremarkable woman who simply doesn’t place value on human life.

B5C15F9C-C0B0-47D0-8CAF-0660E8CDE001.jpeg
← The Death of Betty Williams, Part IDorothea Puente, Part I →

Current Character


Tree climbing in heels, Christmas edition ❤️🎄👠 . . . . . #alwaysinheels #nevergrowup #heelsforever #climbingtrees #treeclimber #treehugger #fromthe60s #60sstyle #vintagestyle #santastyle #vintagefashion #vintagewardrobe #thrifted #thriftedwardrobe #thriftedstyle
It was our entire life, going up in flames. Cork, silently suffering while I frantically searched for help, help that would never come, help that was never there. That never existed. I’d been watching him burn alive for years now, screaming at
It was our entire life, going up in flames. Cork, silently suffering while I frantically searched for help, help that would never come, help that was never there. That never existed. I’d been watching him burn alive for years now, screaming at him to care, to realize I loved him, the children loved him, to realize he was brilliant and strong and capable, to stop wanting to die. He had so much to live for. Our lives were full of meaning. He sat on the edge of the bed, hands between his legs, his eyes empty as they started at me, silently begging: “stop trying to save me.” ... #pinup #pinupgirl #lemonprint #backseam #vintage #vintagestyle #vintagegirl #femmefatale #storytelling #truecrime #crimedrama #depressionawareness
I realized — this was the physical manifestation of the pain I’d been watching him suffer through all these years.
I realized — this was the physical manifestation of the pain I’d been watching him suffer through all these years.
I never did admit this back then, but ... there was a moment ... as I became transfixed on that car, engulfed in flames, wrapped in the the still of night and surrounded by lemon groves — those waxy leaves catching the light of the fire and ref
I never did admit this back then, but ... there was a moment ... as I became transfixed on that car, engulfed in flames, wrapped in the the still of night and surrounded by lemon groves — those waxy leaves catching the light of the fire and reflecting it back into the darkness. A futile attempt at illuminating something so much more vast and encompassing then they could ever be. After the shattering of glass, the frantic scrambling through the bushes, the screams into the nothingness surrounding me, there was only silence. I was the only one making noise. That stagnant night air had wrapped itself around the car like a blanket, like the blanket wrapped around Cork, who, the entire time, had been silently burning alive, too sedated to move, too sedated to feel, too sedated to scream.
Cork was beautiful. He was brilliant. He was kind and sweet and loving. He sent me a dozen and a half roses before we even had our first date — ‘I hope you’ll find these pretty, even if you won’t join me for dinner this weeken
Cork was beautiful. He was brilliant. He was kind and sweet and loving. He sent me a dozen and a half roses before we even had our first date — ‘I hope you’ll find these pretty, even if you won’t join me for dinner this weekend, but I do hope you will.’* I couldn’t have loved the man more. But he never could see it — not the love and admiration I harbored for him or all the wonderful qualities in himself that made me love and admire him. He saw all his faults and shortcomings. He saw my overspending and blamed himself for not making enough money. I loved Cork so much, but none of that love could ever make him love himself. Do you know how difficult that is? To see someone you love and cherish just ... falling apart ... right in front of you. *Fabricated: Lucille’s father recalled the note Cork sent to Lucille & it’s general sentiments, but the exact wording isn’t documented.
Maybe I wanted too much. I wanted the life that society says means “I made it,” whatever “it” is. The beautiful husband, the beautiful children, the beautiful house and beautiful things to fill it with. I drove us into debt, I
Maybe I wanted too much. I wanted the life that society says means “I made it,” whatever “it” is. The beautiful husband, the beautiful children, the beautiful house and beautiful things to fill it with. I drove us into debt, I can’t deny that. There was just ... always something more. A dress that made me feel beautiful, a home that felt special, another man that looked at me like I meant something. That’s always been my downfall, I guess. Nothing is ever enough. I want it so desperately until I have it. Then I don’t know what to do with it. I convince myself that this time it’ll be different, this time it’ll satisfy me, this time I can stop looking. Just this once. But then I have it, and I’m still empty, and something else comes along and catches my eye and I start the longing process all over again.
I can’t say I was ever really a good mother. To be honest, I’m not even sure I can say I’m a good person, but that’s so hard to define, isn’t it? Who decides what makes a person fit into the parameters of “good&rdq
I can’t say I was ever really a good mother. To be honest, I’m not even sure I can say I’m a good person, but that’s so hard to define, isn’t it? Who decides what makes a person fit into the parameters of “good” or “bad?” A court decided I was bad, as did a prosecutor, a couple detectives. But you take the fragments of a terrible accident, and the fragments of an imperfect life, an imperfect marriage, an imperfect person, you toss them into a binder and you read the worst parts of it all. Anyone can seem terrible when you only look at their flaws, can’t they?
Here’s a hastily-made hyper dramatic “trailer”/bts for my upcoming story, based on the life & trial of Lucille Miller. Look out for it after the weekend! 😘 In the meantime, a little background on the premise of Lucille’s story & Arsenous Apple Pie in general: Now’s as good a time as any to address this. These stories, while rooted in true crimes, are told from a perspective I couldn’t possibly understand. I pull from films, from interviews and articles, from observations and life experiences, and I try to create stories that do more than describe a crime. The crimes become a lens through which we view human experiences, taking the most severe actions & emotions present in humanity, exploring the deepest and darkest aspects of our minds, and ruminating on the things that push us to that place. That being said, I don’t always believe in the guilt of the convicted women I portray — something I try to make clear when appropriate. Nonetheless, they’ve been pushed to an extreme place, and are facing tragedy, demons, or a cruel court of public opinion. I believe there is always a great deal to learn from researching these cases, especially when you attempt to mentally put yourself in that position. In the past, I’ve told stories from the point of view of someone suffering with depression or some form of mental illness, as it’s a perspective I’m acutely familiar with. With Lucille, I decided to flip it, & show a person deeply in love with and hopelessly trying to save a husband suffering from depression. Much has been written about Lucille Miller, including “Some Dreamers of the Golden Dream,” a highly-regarded essay by the great Joan Didion & “A Mother’s Crime,” a touching piece for the Los Angeles Times by Lucille’s own daughter, Debra Miller. Many people harbor opinions on Lucille’s crime, her character, and her life. This was true when it all went down in the 60’s, and remains true to this day. For better or worse, this is not one you’ll have read before. 💋, Miss Arsenous Apple Pie
Epilogue: 
And that, my loves, is how I came to be remembered as the first woman hung by the state of Louisiana. Perhaps unsurprisingly, this too was inaccurate.

I was the first white woman to be hanged by the state, but certainly not the first woma
Epilogue: And that, my loves, is how I came to be remembered as the first woman hung by the state of Louisiana. Perhaps unsurprisingly, this too was inaccurate. I was the first white woman to be hanged by the state, but certainly not the first woman. But again, facts be damned, right? History wants what it wants, and all it really wants is a good story. So many lives, reduced to nothing but grocery store gossip and dinner party conversation starters. In a rare instance where someone seemed to realize the gruesome nature of a trial becoming mere entertainment for the bored masses, Arthur Brisbane of the San Francisco Examiner asked, "Does a great State deserve to have on its records the first hanging of a white woman, or a black woman, either?" It all depends on who you ask, Arthur, it all depends on who you ask.
Of course this left me as the central figure in all this nonsense. The adulterous, vain, manipulative "siren," who lured all of these men to their doom. Knowing full well they were cementing my death sentence, reporters made themselves feel
Of course this left me as the central figure in all this nonsense. The adulterous, vain, manipulative "siren," who lured all of these men to their doom. Knowing full well they were cementing my death sentence, reporters made themselves feel better by insisting I loved their attention. Stoic, uninterested, and defiant in court, I "giggled" for the press and "entertained" in my jail cell. They truly seemed to have convinced themselves that not only did I enjoy the attention, but that they were somehow doing me a favor by making me into a celebrity. Or perhaps they just saw this as the pinnacle of their careers and weren't concerned with mere fatal casualties. Facts be damned, they wanted a good story, and a good story needs a good ending. A good ending, it seems, never does include a living antagonist.

Powered by Squarespace